Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
two words: eviction party
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
