we have officially lost it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize