Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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