Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
