I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
