Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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