Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize