Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
another moral hangover. fuck.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
