can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
