If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
