How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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