If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Panties = found
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