the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
In America we eat man semen.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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