I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
