My balls are so social today.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
