Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That's intense
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
