Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We have started to decorate penises.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
