There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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