I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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