the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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