Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
