perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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