Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I faked an abortion last night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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