U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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