There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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