ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize