We're facebook friends in real life
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
