Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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