Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
