The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize