Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
