is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
