I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize