We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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