Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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