he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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