I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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