Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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