So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he thought i was a dude.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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