Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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