O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize