I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Randomize
