I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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