nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
