i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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