you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize