I bet he comes in French.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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