and you said cock pushups were impossible
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
