It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize