I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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