I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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