you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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