She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
