idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
