Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
