Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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