if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
