New invention idea: vibrating tampons
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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