I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
