I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
