hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize