well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
