So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
