my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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