I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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