The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize