walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
