I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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