That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize