Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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