Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
