Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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