Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
