We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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