Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We need a shit load of segways right now
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
